Ads of all type try to convince us that for Father’s Day, dad wants to grill, or golf, or watch big screen TV, or work with power tools. I’ve never been much for the stereotypes, well, okay, I do like power tools. But, instead of following the stereotypes, I do something you won’t find in Father’s Day sales ads.
One at a time, each of my three children and I head out for something to eat. One of them will take me out for a breakfast, with another I will grab a sandwich or some snack food, and the third child and I will get some dessert. And while we’re eating, I ask each of them three questions:
- What are you must excited about/looking forward to in the coming year?
- What are you most concerned about/worried about in the coming year?
- What can I do to be a better dad?
Each year, the answers to questions 1 and 2 change. Although, when each of them turned 14, the answer to question 1 was easy to predict – “Driver’s Ed!” And at 15, the answer was, “Getting a license!” But, through the years, the answer to question 3 has never changed.
“Spend more time with me.”
In my own defense, I do spend a lot of time with my kids. I help them with homework, I enthusiastically attend their sports games, we go to movies together, work on a project around the house, and we talk about stuff. But no matter how much time I spend with them, they want more.
Fathers, my message to you this Father’s Day is to never underestimate how much your kids want you to be involved in their lives.
You are much more than a paycheck to them. To your sons, you are the standard for integrity, patience, and confidence they should aspire to be. And to your daughters, you are the standard for care/protection, involvement, and partnership they should seek in a future spouse. And for all of your children, you should be the inspiration to be the best they can be at whatever they love to do.
So, this Father’s Day, before you fire up the grill, head to the course, or visit your workbench – all cool things to do – let your children know how incredibly special they are and how much you love them. And then, be the best dad ever by checking in with them to see how things are going. These conversations I have with my children are the best gifts that I give myself throughout the year.