Porches, Peace & Priorities

A few weeks ago, I did something radical.
I said yes—to me.

My best friend since 9th grade and I both dreamed of visiting Mackinac Island. The Grand Hotel. That iconic wraparound porch. Tea in the parlor. Gardens that make you breathe more deeply.

This year, we booked the trip. We packed our bags.
And we gave ourselves permission to press pause.

What I didn’t expect was how that pause would realign everything—how I show up as a wife, a mom of three incredible young adults with complex needs, a caregiver, an advocate, and a business owner who helps families heal.

The Porch That Made Me Breathe Again

There’s something holy about stillness – especially when your life rarely allows it.

When we arrived, I sat in a white rocking chair facing Lake Huron. No alarms. No schedules. No questions to answer or fires to put out. Just the creak of the rocker, the breeze on my skin, and the quiet realization that I had forgotten how to just be.

In that stillness, I could feel a version of me returning—the one who could feel her shoulders drop. Who didn’t need to explain herself. Who could hear her own thoughts again.

That moment wasn’t just the highlight of our trip. It was a mirror—a reminder of how much space I create for others, and easy it is to keep forging ahead and forget my need for solitude.

This Wasn’t Luxury—It Was Lifeline

If you’re raising a child with complex medical, learning, or behavioral needs, you know that rest often feels impossible. The guilt. The logistics. The mental load.

But here’s what I want you to hear:

Self-care isn’t a luxury—it’s a necessity.

You can’t pour from an empty cup and expect it not to crack.

Taking this trip didn’t make me selfish.
It made me sane.

And when I came back?
I was stronger. More grounded. More available—not just for my family, but for my clients, my team, my community.

How to Create a Porch Moment (Even If You Can’t Travel)

Let me be clear: you don’t have to visit an island to reclaim yourself.

That peaceful feeling I found in that rocking chair?
It’s available in the small, sacred choices we make every day.

Try one of these:

• Stretch or do somantic yoga while breathing deeply (5 minutes is enough).

• Keep a journal by your bed—even one sentence matters.

• Take a quiet walk, alone or with a friend.

• Call the person who knows your heart and makes you laugh like you’re 16 again.

Rest doesn’t need to be perfect or pretty.
It just needs to allow you to fill up.

Permission to Pause

So if no one’s told you lately…

You’re allowed to rest.
You’re allowed to take up space—not just as a parent, but as a person.

And that “someday” trip you keep putting off?
It might be the thing that brings you home to yourself.

From my porch to yours,

Julie